The 1 Thing You Should Know When You Defriend People

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Are we allowed to Defriend people? That sounds like a weird question, but I think about it often enough where I think I am officially a jerk. People on Facebook are venting their junk or constantly inviting me to play Super Slots (I don’t want to play!) and it gets old… So am I allowed to defriend that person?

But what about when it is in real life? What about the guy in the office that always wants to partner up on projects but never really helps out? Or the kid in biology class who never stops talking the entire way through the lecture? Or the family member who wants to bring you in on the ground floor as a partner to his latest “money venture”?

Are we allowed to defriend any of these people? Does it make us a jerk and get God mad at us?

Abraham, the guy we talked about yesterday, had a nephew named Lot. Both of them had sheepherders that really got on each other’s nerves… So they had to come to a point where Abraham and Lot had to make a decision about being around each other so much…

I love Abraham’s response when he said, “Let’s not fight. I don’t want there to be any animosity between you and me, or between our herders. After all, we’re family. A vast land is out there and available to you. It is time for us to go our separate ways. You choose your land. If you choose east, I’ll go west. If you choose west, I’ll go east—it’s your call.”[1]

They were family, they were friends, they were coworkers, and in a way they defriended… but not in a jerk way, instead they gave each other some space, and did it without being dramatic about it.

Sometimes, we should do the same. If someone gets on our nerves constantly, don’t be afraid to create some room between hangouts… Jesus calls us to love everyone, but that doesn’t mean we have to be besties.

This does not count for spouses however. If you are married you made a commitment for life, and you need to learn how to love each other better while focusing on how you can enjoy each others company. But even then it is okay to give each other some alone time, some time to read a book, go hiking with friends, or go shopping at the mall.

So don’t be afraid to create some space. It doesn’t make you a jerk. Instead, do it well by having open dialogue about it, and be like Abraham and give them the preference. In short, treat them with love and respect, especially when they drive you crazy, and then maybe you might learn to even LIKE them.


[1] Genesis 13:8-9 The Voice